Ok friends, this one is going to be a little bit difficult, because It’s a topic I have wanted to discuss for a very long time, but I have never been able to think of the proper way to introduce the subject. I’m not the most athletic of individuals, as my knowledge of the “Sports-ball” ends wherever Backyard Baseball and the classic NBA Street games ended as well. The poor swimming pug in the photo above would likely appear more graceful than me, as I can’t really swim, but rather “float aggressively.”
That being said I’m not averse to discussing complicated conversations or controversy, as I tend to live in the space of awkwardness and attempt to navigate based on logic and basic chivalry. However, this is one of the conversations where basic chivalry often takes a backseat due to the vast misunderstanding across the board. This conversation can also be a bit of a minefield for those who are just trying to address common grievances regarding this situation as a whole.
Last week a photo took the culture war by storm and highlighted a concern I have had for quite a few years now, but had not been able to pinpoint exactly how I felt about the idea.
I’ll be quite honest, looking at this photo, I can’t help but feel bad for everyone involved. Something seems… off.
Lia Thomas (L) of the University of Pennsylvania stands on the podium after winning the 500-yard freestyle
as other medalists (L-R) Emma Weyant, Erica Sullivan and Brooke Forde, pose together in protest. Picture: Getty
I do understand there is more context to the image, and that the three ladies on the right side were snapping a quick photo celebrating their placement, and Lia Thomas (who had been announced as champion) standing far to the left isolated from the group. The lady in the middle of the trio, Erica Sullivan, even took to writing an article for News Week explaining why she supported Lia’s first-place win, which you can read HERE
This did not stop the sensational photo from circulating nonetheless, telling a very strange story about a conversation that nobody really wanted to have. Well except of course for those who seek controversy for a living. You can bet that this photo highlighted quite clearly the rift we have in our separate realities.
This is the tricky part of the entire conversation. On both sides you have fierce opponents vying for their own truth to prevail. Erica writes about her own cultural achievements coming out as gay and becoming a silver medalist. Advocating heavily for inclusion. Lia is an ally to Erica’s beliefs as well. So it would seem only natural Erica would rise to the defense of a perceived minority group. I can’t help but see something honorable about that notion of finding comradery with those that are like-minded, or defending those who you believe are constantly under the gun.
Then in the online sphere, you have quite a few less-than-shy individuals claiming that we are mainstreaming delusion. Stating that Lia Thomas was born a man, meaning that Lia is competing with a genetic advantage against a group of female competitors. A conversation that commentators like Joe Rogan have proposed about Transgender MMA fighters in the past. When it comes to hand-hand combat, I can’t disagree.
However, this is swimming, a sport I frankly know very little about, other than shaving your leg hair to reduce drag underwater or something of the sort. I’m certainly no expert in the field.
I also can’t help but think about Lia standing by “themselves” (Pronouns tend to be part of the minefield I discussed earlier) as a bit of a pariah among the other ladies out there. The spotlight that is shining on the awkward decision of choosing between their assigned gender, or the gender that they strive to be.
Because that is what it all seems to come down to… the awkwardness of a human that doesn’t feel comfortable with who they were born, so they attempt to change it. A feeling that I would likely not fully understand, nor can I imagine. Yet daily our society has to remind them of their own “awkwardness” no matter what the endeavor. A state of existence I certainly do not envy.
It doesn’t matter if you are pro-trans, anti-trans, fundamentalist, trans-humanist, whatever. We cannot escape the awkwardness of the subject until we actually acknowledge what we are dealing with. A society that pushes past standard “gender roles” as a default, and what ramifications we could face in a non-binary world.
This situation leaves me with more questions than answers.
What does it mean to not associate with a gender? What place does our mind have to wander to accept such a drastic change? How would someone personally know if this was a permanent fix or a complicated band-aid on a deep wound? What societal factors would drive people to make such a life-changing decision? Why is this such a taboo subject?
This has been something that I have wrestled with myself over the last 10 years.
Ever since the very first time I met a trans person.
Having been a child of the internet, the word Trans had been used a lot online in the various message boards I roamed in. I had never once imagined in my youth, that I would encounter that sort of individual in Douglas County. As a small-town kid, when you hear the word Trans-gender you picture someone who stands out among the crowd an individual with a beard and makeup. Something like a caricature of the bearded lady or some other nonsense.
Instead, I met one of the coolest people I had ever known. For the sake of privacy, I will be referring to this awesome person, as Ziggy. Because Ziggy had a massive fascination with one of the most influential singer-songwriters of all time, David Bowie.
I met Ziggy at a local call center here in Douglas County. When we were all first hired, there wasn’t a lot of work rolling in, so our day would often be filled with deep conversations getting to know the rest of the crew. It was a pretty cool group of memorable people, answering harrowing phone calls about traffic accidents and behavioral problems, while we wrote up incident reports. Rather intense, but quite fulfilling work. After such dark discussions on the phone, it was only natural we would all grow quite fond of each other’s ability to handle difficult and unique situations
Ziggy started off rather shy, but we had a tendency to break through shyness rather quickly. When I witnessed Ziggy’s personal artwork, which was rather cute but macabre, I knew I had to let him know I loved it. This was a rather quick icebreaker which led to a pretty neat friendship.
Ziggy was born female, but changed their name and pronounced gender roughly 2-3 years before I met “him.” Now I confidently can say “him” because that is exactly how “he” preferred. I only know this, because I asked damn near every question you can think of to avoid being rude in conversation. In my mind, this was like dealing with a foreign ambassador from a country I had never heard of. I wanted to be as chivalrous as I possibly could.
I was beyond curious. At that point in my life, I had never met a human who had not been comfortable with the way they were born. The situation perplexed me. And Ziggy was a bit of an enigma. Ziggy would dress in what I had believed to be, traditional male attire. Jeans, button-up shirts, large jackets, Band-Tee shirts. He had short green hair and a large septum ring that would immediately draw your eye. He also wore incredibly intense and meticulously done make-up.
Ziggy fascinated the hell out of me
I remember asking Ziggy if he had wanted to be a boy, why did wear all of the make-up? Ziggy just laughed and laughed. A few other allies in the group laughed with him at my child-like curiosity, the way an adult would laugh at the innocence of a child asking about a naughty word. He would eventually go on to say it was intended to confuse people like me. To blend the line between male and female. To appear as if gender was a social box we put each other in to make sense of the world, which he believed was a lot messier than that. This just added more confusion to my small-town mind.
I would retort back, “If that is the case, Why would you bother changing your gender at all then?”
To which he simply responded, “It just makes sense to me.”
I had nothing more to say. He had made up his mind years ago, and this was how he planned to live life. I could respect that.
Ziggy was a pretty cool guy. Never once did he get upset with my questions, or lack of understanding. Believe me, there were plenty of nervous questions that could be easy to be upset at in the wrong context. We listened to phone calls of people in their worst moments for a living, the gallows humor ran deep in our crew.
He also never once asked me to do anything out of the ordinary to make him feel human. Ziggy also despised the way people represented both the trans and LGB communities with such indignation. He felt that people were making a giant deal about a group that just wanted to be left alone, so they could figure out their own way of dealing with it all. While I personally couldn’t help but wonder what would drive Ziggy to completely change their identity on the fly, I couldn’t ever deny that Ziggy was living a human experience.
Living in a small community all my life, it was quite rare to witness that sort of relationship. Over the years I would come to understand the uniqueness of that interaction. As more years have gone by, more LGBTQ individuals have arrived in the area. As well as more confusion among other small-town individuals. Unfortunately, this has also led to less cordial conversations in regard to inquisitive behavior. This does make it rather difficult for anyone to sit down and get to know each other.
I often wonder what Ziggy would think about the Lia Thomas photo, but I imagine he would just sit and laugh at the way the world reacts to such strange situations.
Yet for some reason, many of the “allies” of the trans-cause I meet these days, don’t seem to understand that way of thinking. Instead, they would be quicker to condemn my curiosity as a sort of embedded “ism.” A rather easy pedestal to stand on when you view everyone who disagrees as “in the wrong.” All this mindset does is push everyone away.
In the end, we all want to do the right thing.
But the funny part is, nobody knows what that thing is.
Should there be a rally to start an extra transgender division within each sport? Further diluting the low audience numbers women’s divisions already face, towards other venues creating unsustainably low numbers. Or should we remove the divisions altogether, and let both men, women, and those on the fence compete head to head?
One could also argue the genetic differences in men and women, but since we can’t even agree on what the word “woman” means anymore, I don’t really think that sort of discourse can make it very far at this time.
This Science™ is changing the way the world operates, but when questions of the nature of funding that Science™ come up, or the driving motivators behind it. The conversation often quickly turns into political talking points rather than a clear indication of an established field. With the universities whistling and looking the other way while their acolytes scream accusations of “bigotry” in their name to defend their cause. Muddying the waters for anyone who seeks to understand how to operate.
It’s even been proven on numerous occasions across the world, that you can completely fabricate much of this Science™ in the name of inclusion and you would likely be met with the accolades of that of a scholar, so long as your ideas are radical enough to garner influence.
Whereas if you take a nuanced or even critical take on the matter, you are tagged with heinous labels that make future conversations incredibly difficult. When you have two completely different intellectual perspectives negating the existence of the other, it often falls down to our basic concepts of morality to help us navigate.
Of course, even mentioning the difficulty of defending the traditional understanding of the world already puts me in a mental category for many of today’s Science™ advocates. Even writing this article out
While it may seem easy to support the societal impact of a transgender female competing in female sports. It is equally easy to see the damage being done to the independence women fought for in order to get their own sports divisions in the first place.
Replacing one social struggle, with another. A snake eating its own tail.
You either get Equality or Inclusivity, you really can’t have both.
Of course, to ever speak against the existence of either, or the Science™ involved…
You would have to be a fool
Thank you for reading
