When I first decided I wanted to start this blog, I had a rather decent idea of the topics I wanted to write about. With the craziness of our era there is an over-abundance of absurd happenings for anyone to ponder over. However, Sunday morning as I began to collect my thoughts on a certain dress that so eloquently read “Tax the Rich.” I was stricken with a phone call that set my whole mind and heart on fire. There was a death in the family.
Well, it finally happened. As I write, I am still at a complete loss on how to process all of this. My family has done a great job at avoiding tragedy thus far despite nature’s odds not being “ever in our favor.” Loss has struck my family, like it has struck all of us. Loss to an invisible monster, the kind that we can only speak about when we are around like-minded company anymore. A loss to the very issue I wrote about in last week’s entry.
To go into details on the cause would be to rob my uncle’s death of impact. To me the medical history is as unimportant as the color of his coffin. It is unfortunate that we live in such a time of speculation. A man is gone, and that is the point of these words. He was a good man, and he deserved a lot better than the fate he was presented.
I was never close to him personally, outside of childhood family gatherings. He was a lot like my father. A hard-working man who would sacrifice whatever it took to support his family. An example of what many men should aspire to be. He didn’t speak to me much outside of the usual manly talk and gruff about not being a wimp when I was a kid. Not to mention a few shorthand lectures, as one does with a young boy who frequently challenged authority. He had nicknamed me “Chucky” a name that I was not fond of as a child, but can’t help but laugh now at how accurate the name truly was. As I have gotten older, I have grown distant from that part of my family. A regret I will likely hold forever.
That is not what I am here for though. Because the details of another loss should be spared when the whole world is gripped by so much tragedy daily. No instead I want to focus on what this means. As I get older the one thing that becomes incredibly clear to me, is that life is tragedy. I mean that. It’s not just a thing that older generations say to scare the youth. No life really is a tragedy, but filled with wonderful moments in between. When news of any death is brought to light, its nearly always followed by sentimental comments such as, “They are in a better place.” Or “I guess it was just their time.” Or “My condolences for your loss.” Nearly always the comments are met with a shy smile and a sigh of understanding that these words feel like putting a shipping label on a coffin. A reality check that yes, tragedy has really struck and there is nothing you can do to change it.
When I first heard the news, I dreaded the thought of the awkward silence with my father. I admire my dad, but he has never been one to show emotion when it comes to loss. I know how much his brother meant to him, since they had come from such a large family. They were close. Having witnessed my father speaking at a funeral for a close friend of his when I was younger, I remember that resolve he had back then, much like he does now. No matter how deep the cut, he was going to act like it was just another thing that happened. He would simply sigh, look me dead in the eye and mutter, “That’s life”
I wish I could do that too. I think often about what would happen if I received the same tragic news, but about my father. Would I have that same resolve? Would I be able to be the strongest man at my own father’s funeral? Would I act stoic and brave as my own children study me to take note on the proper behavior for such a delicate moment. I hate to think that my poor cousin who was only recently married would receive the same phone call that I fear daily. He would have to be the man of his family now. There was no way that he could change it.
These are the thoughts nobody talks about. They finality of it all. The realization that in the end we all have a place to go, but have we taken care of everything here? Have we bestowed in our children the resolve needed to be able to grieve appropriately, but put on a brave face when nature show its terrifying hand?
In the end, that’s what it is though. No matter how we try to fight it, it seems that nature just rolls the dice. We can use every preventative measure under the sun but nothing stops the eventuality that we all will leave some day. They say time is a wise teacher, but unfortunately, he kills all of his students. Nobody gets out of his tutelage alive.
But we are resilient creatures. Despite the absurd amount of tragedy in the world, we still continue onwards. Even in times like these that are so filled with tension; we continue to persevere hoping that in the end it will all amount to something. That every tear shed, every family member laid to rest, every battle won will bring us something bright again. To me, that is the beauty of it all. The fact that us humans battle plagues, calamities and any other tragedy nature throws at us, says we are not willing to go down without a struggle. It teaches our loved ones that in the end, “That’s life.”
“There have been as many plagues as wars in history; Yet Always plagues and wars take people equally by surprise.” – Albert Camus
“But what does it mean, the plague? It’s life, that’s all.” – Albert Camus
Thank you for reading
-The Young Fool
